With the alarming number of illegal immigrants entering our country every day, we have to assume that most of them don’t truly exist. The reality is, most illegal immigrants get by on cash money, never register to vote, never pay taxes, and never open up bank accounts. They may seem very real to their own family members, but most of them are invisible to everyone else.

You can be driving down the street one day, and be rear-ended, only to get out of your car in time to see your friendly invisible Mexican speeding off. If you can’t get a plate number or something concrete, you’re basically screwed. Being rear-ended by an illegal immigrant, is very similar to being rear-ended by Jesus. Either way if you call the cops, they won’t believe you.

See, our Government is truly fucked up! If you run over a Mexican on a bike, who is illegal, you can still be charged with Man-Slaughter. When the fuck did we start caring about killing Casper, he’s already dead. But seriously, what happens when a Legal Citizen of this country accidentally kills or injures an illegal immigrant? Does the immigrant go to the hospital and get their medical expenses paid for because they sued you? Do they get deported back to their own country? Do you go to Jail? I seriously want to know because it hurts my brain too much to think about people who don’t exist.

Sometimes I think how wonderful it would be to not have to follow rules. What if I could just waltz into another country, living completely invisible to every who didn’t know me. What if I could live off of cash for ever and never pay any government a dime? Homeless people do it every day and so do illegal immigrants. The only difference is illegal immigrants actually get ahead and actually make more money and live more prosperously then homeless American Citizens. People are losing their homes and life savings, faster than illegal immigrants can jump the border and live for free.

Are illegal immigrants, just invisible people who get rich off our tax dollars, or are they really a strong part of our society? How many of them actually contribute to making this country work? Why is it that the average American Family can’t afford 2 children, when a Mexican Family can have 8 kids and home to live in? What does the Government provide them, which allows them to live so freely and happy? Whatever it is I want some! More illegal immigrants get health care, education and government paychecks than most hard working American Citizens.

Okay, I’ve decided to change my birth certificate to “White/Latino” Maybe that will help. I’m calling 10 of my friends so we can live in the same house and drive one car. I have a new philosophy that I am putting into action tomorrow. I’m going to Marry and impregnate as many 18 year old Mexican Girls as possible and have 500 invisible children. Don’t tell Jesus and don’t say Fart!