What would you do if you could be a little more like Jesus?

What would you sing if you could sing a little more like Jesus?

How would you feel if you were a little more sexy like Jesus?

Who would you do if you were a little more like Jesus?

What would you buy if you were a little more rich like Jesus?

Who would you kiss if you could kiss a little more like Jesus?

What would you eat, if you could taste a little more like Jesus?

Have more to add… let us know!

1. Tell Your Wife or Girl Friend you want to have sex one last time.
2. Tell a  bad “Knock Knock Joke”
3. Piss freely in random locations
4. Have sex with a little person, (no it’s really cool)
5. Get piss-ass drunk and wake up naked with the words, “I’m Gay” written on your forehead in permanent ink.

The hottest thing that I have ever seen in Gaming ever. Finally a game that allows anyone, including women to control a digital Penis. No joke, just watch the video below. I couldn’t believe this when I saw it. I wonder how many dudes are actually playing this game. Is it American’s behind the creation of the game or the Japaneses, I’ll let you decide. I think I would feel a bit strange if I had to go into the the store and buy and extra Penis in the event that the original broke from access control. Apparently there have been a few cases where players actually swung too hard and the penis flew off the strap and put a hole in the TV. I think there should be a rule that requires women to be naked when playing this game. There’s nothing hotter than a naked chick with a strap-on, just kidding, that’s horrible. Shut up! Seriously though, would you really want to spend hard earned money on a digital penis. If it doubled as a real vibrator, more people would consider it, but for now it is only a game, not a sexual friend.

Are you stupid? That is the question Jesus would ask you if he alive.

If you dare answer “NO”, he would kick you right in the F!@#& Nuts! If you are a girl, he would still kick you in the nuts. Shut up!

The truth of the matter is, the bible has been rewritten more than 50 times in the last 500 years. I’m really sure how sacred the Bible is any more. The whole concept of religion has been abused time and time again. Even the Priests that we have grown to love, have disobeyed and abused the privileges they’ve been given. How many stories have we heard about a Pastor who molests young children, or is secretly having love affairs behind closed doors? If you can’t trust people who say they are “A Man of Good” who can you trust? Definitely not the Police, they are just as bad. When anyone is given power, it is only Human to abuse it.

Look at all the Celebrities for example, they have money and power and they abuse it. They turn into coke heads, drink and drive, have babies when they are underage, hire prostitutes, and the list goes on.

This world is ugly, so you better learn how to fight. When times are bad and no one cares about you, the only person who will fix your situation is you. You can hope, dream, pray all you want, but until you start taking action, nothing in your life is going to change.

Stop thinking so much about people that don’t physically exists, like Jesus, and start thinking about the people that do exist. What could you do if you paid more attention to the people around you? How many people would be alive and well today if they just took more time to focus on what is important in life, rather than hoping and praying things would get better. I hate to tell you, but hoping and praying is just an excuse to feel better about yourself. As long as you keep hoping, you’ll be okay without not taking action. Open your eyes because opportunity is always knocking on your door, it’s not Jesus. If you don’t take action, even Jesus can’t help you.

Any girl or woman may wonder what is so special about blowjobs. Well, any man can answer that simple question. There really isn’t much explaining to do.

Why do love blowjobs? Hmmmm, lets think about that one. A girl’s warm mouth on my junk?

1. I LOVE getting head.

2. I LOVE getting head.

3. I LOVE getting head.

What else is there to say, that explains it, pretty clear I think.

I had the best idea today, an Automated Confession Booth. Basically, it has an oversized, gigantic boxing glove attached. The boxing glove would have the words, “I forgive you” painted in white on the front of the glove.” When you sit down to confess, you only need to say how you screwed up in life and Jesus will knock the living shit out of you, so you remember not so screw up next time. I’m going to set this up at the next LA fair and dress up like a priest and ask people to confess. I won’t won’t actually tell them about the boxing glove though. I like the shock factor.

When you need a little help from your friends, Puppet love is what you need. He doesn’t care if you are happy, sad, angry or depressed, he will always find a way to make you laugh until you bleed.

With the alarming number of illegal immigrants entering our country every day, we have to assume that most of them don’t truly exist. The reality is, most illegal immigrants get by on cash money, never register to vote, never pay taxes, and never open up bank accounts. They may seem very real to their own family members, but most of them are invisible to everyone else.

You can be driving down the street one day, and be rear-ended, only to get out of your car in time to see your friendly invisible Mexican speeding off. If you can’t get a plate number or something concrete, you’re basically screwed. Being rear-ended by an illegal immigrant, is very similar to being rear-ended by Jesus. Either way if you call the cops, they won’t believe you.

See, our Government is truly fucked up! If you run over a Mexican on a bike, who is illegal, you can still be charged with Man-Slaughter. When the fuck did we start caring about killing Casper, he’s already dead. But seriously, what happens when a Legal Citizen of this country accidentally kills or injures an illegal immigrant? Does the immigrant go to the hospital and get their medical expenses paid for because they sued you? Do they get deported back to their own country? Do you go to Jail? I seriously want to know because it hurts my brain too much to think about people who don’t exist.

Sometimes I think how wonderful it would be to not have to follow rules. What if I could just waltz into another country, living completely invisible to every who didn’t know me. What if I could live off of cash for ever and never pay any government a dime? Homeless people do it every day and so do illegal immigrants. The only difference is illegal immigrants actually get ahead and actually make more money and live more prosperously then homeless American Citizens. People are losing their homes and life savings, faster than illegal immigrants can jump the border and live for free.

Are illegal immigrants, just invisible people who get rich off our tax dollars, or are they really a strong part of our society? How many of them actually contribute to making this country work? Why is it that the average American Family can’t afford 2 children, when a Mexican Family can have 8 kids and home to live in? What does the Government provide them, which allows them to live so freely and happy? Whatever it is I want some! More illegal immigrants get health care, education and government paychecks than most hard working American Citizens.

Okay, I’ve decided to change my birth certificate to “White/Latino” Maybe that will help. I’m calling 10 of my friends so we can live in the same house and drive one car. I have a new philosophy that I am putting into action tomorrow. I’m going to Marry and impregnate as many 18 year old Mexican Girls as possible and have 500 invisible children. Don’t tell Jesus and don’t say Fart!